How to Own (vs. "Tell") Your Story

Let's talk about a crucial distinction when it comes to your story...

Which is the chasm-like difference between "owning" it vs. simply "telling" it. 

Telling it can happen in a variety of ways.

You can tell it well (or poorly)...

In a way that engages attention (or doesn't)...

To achieve authentic self-expression and sincere human connection (or not)... 

But there's only ONE way to own it.

... And this starts with seeing your story for the ASSET that it is.
  
ASSET: /ˈaset/ n. anything tangible or intangible that can be owned or controlled to produce value.

The thing about assets, as every savvy professional knows, is they're not meant to sit in a corner, gathering dust. 

An asset isn't meant to be taken out every now and again, just because someone asks if they can ogle it.

Assets are meant to be leveraged.

As in, put into active service of generating more and more value. 

And yet, most people keep their stories tucked away out of sight, until someone explicitly gives them a stage, requests a bio, or asks them to "tell me about yourself?"

Which makes this understanding of / approach to storytelling rather rare. 

Now, I've spent a lot of time in my career thinking about why this is the case.

And one thing occurs to me as the most obvious, repetitive, and easily soluble block: 

Which is the tendency to confuse your story for your history.

Let's clarify: Story and history are NOT the same thing. 

History is concerned with recounting whatever past events (in chronological order) led us to wherever we are now.

To this end, history aspires (/pretends) NOT to be biased.

It "merely" concerns itself with providing all the information surrounding what happened and how we got here. 

And, it purports to leave "interpretation" up for debate. (Whether or not it succeeds in these claims = a conversation for another day.)

Stories, on the other hand, are inherently biased to illustrate a point of view.

To this end, stories are intentionally selective about which information is necessary to make a given point.

Stories don't care to cram in all the facts, because they're designed to make use of a limited human attention span. 

For this reason, the best ones are ruthless about what to include, and what can be cut.

Which is to say, the biggest difference between history and story?

... Is that stories have an agenda. 

Sometimes that agenda can be as simple and straightforward as authentic self-expression and sincere human connection -- two powerful, meaningful and worthy applications indeed.

But if you're looking at story as an ASSET, you might see that its OTHER powerful purpose is to selectively bring the past to life...

... So as to suggest (and co-create) the desired future.

This, by the way, is what leaders do.

They mine their histories for experiences, analogies, metaphors and anecdotes...

That they can use to enroll those around them in taking whatever action needs to be taken in the present...

So they can get that much closer to achieving their vision for the future. 

And the really great news?

You don't have to be a "leader" in any technical sense of the word, to start doing this for yourself.

You just have to unlearn a few things, pick up a few strategies, and start using your imagination. 

We dive more deeply into these topics in Modules 2 and 3 of Own Your Story 2.0 (which opens for limited registration April 21-28)...

But for now -- if you want the truth?

As long as you view "your story" so narrowly, you'll never understand what an asset it can truly be. 

And thus, it will never even occur to you to imagine all the ways you can leverage it...

To generate (and keep generating) massive value in multiple areas of your life. 

At the very least, don’t get trapped thinking your story is just a high-level summary (/history) of what you've done and how you did it.

Instead, start to see your story as a DYNAMIC ASSET that can be endlessly leveraged to get to where you want to go.

(Regardless of whether you think you have a "hero's journey" story or not -- it really doesn't matter.)

Remember that your story is not (really) about what happened...

It's about what happens NEXT.

Pinky promise: this one paradigm shift will make all the difference -- and yield dividends far into the future.

Jessica Mastors is a storytelling and leadership coach to founders, executives & creatives, as well as an adjunct career coach at U.C. Berkeley Haas School of Business.